The Brewers are the best team in the NL and maybe all of baseball

During Spring Break, it’s crucial that incoming freshman prepare for Brewers baseball. After this opening day commenced the beginning of the Brewer’s reign at the top of the NL (and possibly Major League Baseball) for an indefinite amount of time, a movement grabbed hold in Madison, and all of Wisconsin really. The Brewers are the best they’ve ever been, and Wisconsin knows it.

A lot of Chicagoland students on campus will hoo and rah for the Cubs in the spring and pay the DJ at Double U $50 to play their cute song and tell you they’re from Chicago when they’re actually from a suburb an hour away, but ignore them. Cubs fans have praised their general manager and glorified their prospects. And rightfully so — Theo Epstein won the Cubs a world championship by properly placing the right pieces of the puzzle. In fact, Epstein’s strategy seems like the next big innovation in baseball management since Billy Bean’s implementation of Money Ball. The Brewers acquired a new general manager named David Stearns though, and he’s the new “best young thirty Harvard graduate general manager in baseball”, and he’s better at placing pieces than Theo.

So, here are a number of things you can do during your first Spring Break to get ready for the Brewer’s four (or five, hopefully) year reign during your time at our beautiful school.


  1. Create and regularly praise a Christian Yelich Shrine.
  2. Mentally prepare yourself to watch Josh Hader fan batter after batter after batter and look incredible doing it.
  3. Create a life sized poster of Jesus Aguilar and bring it to every game possible.
  4. Pray every night to Ryan Braun because he’s the best Brewer to ever walk this planet.
  5. Laugh in the face of Cub fans everywhere.
  6. Then apologize because Brewers people are good people, and because we still feel bad but yet can’t help laugh a little bit about Bartman.

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