Are you sick of fighting your fellow students for a window seat at Colectivo? Tired of sprinting for a table with an outlet at the library? Want to go out to eat and NOT have to order your food to go due to lack of seats? Try an on-campus spring break at UW-Madison!
You get to experience all the best parts of campus life, without the worst parts! Get your friends to stay too for an apocalyptic style Madison. Ever wonder what life would be like if you went to school after Thano’s Snap from Infinity War? Well, your dream could become a reality this Spring Break, only at UW-Madison.
While here with your friends, explore State Street, with none of the stress! Get some rolled ice cream, hot chocolate, or simply window shop at any of the expensive clothing stores that adorn the road to the Capitol. No matter what you do, you won’t be crowded!
However, this idyllic spring break comes at a cost. Within three days of all the students leaving for warm tropical destinations, the gremlins appear. Sometimes on leashes, or in strollers, but always loud, these monsters of the suburbs pounce on State Street with their parents in tow.
Eating dirty leftover snow slush, and standing directly in front of you for no reason, they are the true monsters of this week-long apocalypse.
But don’t fret, as the sound of incoming planes landing at Dane County Regional Airport on Friday will alert them to the return of the Southeast dorm residents, and the children retreat to suburbia as yet another cloud of Juul smoke covers the city.